I think this is my 3rd time starting this first entry. I don't want to talk about my past so I guess I'll start with the present. My name is Nelisa, I'm married to the best husband in the world, Junior Tapafua. I come from a family of 7 siblings and I'm 2nd in command with my brother Tevita at #1, Lesieli at #3, Vika at #4, Lile is #5, Lea Si'i coming in at #6 & the baby of the family is mister TJ. My husband is the eldest of his clan with 3 younger sisters to follow. I'm currently expecting a bbyGirl and this is my 4th pregnancy so I pray it is my first SUCCESSFUL pregnancy. I am a very complicated, but simple, person.
Today, I read a blog on someones page & decided to give it a try. If you're not into annoying, unfinished thoughts that rarely make sense, then I suggest you click the 'X' at the top right corner of your screen. My life is boring. I work, I eat & I sleep. It wasn't always so simple, but I do all those things with my other half at my side so I don't find the need to make it any more exciting. On the weekends, I clean, cook, shop or lay around for hours because I'm lazy. My job is stressful in the spring & fall months because I work for a lawn care company and it's only seasonal. I work as a sales auditor but recently, more than that job description has been delegated to me so I also do customer service, accounts receivable, data entry & sometimes production. I have no "close" friends to speak of because I'm not so good at keeping in touch with people. Sadly, there are few I bother to keep in touch with that aren't family. But I find life easier to coast through without friends, for some reason they seem to complicate my life and I like my life boring and predictable.
Reading what I just wrote makes me feel like I've just given the impression that I'm stuck up and anti-social. Trust me, I'm not stuck up. I guess I'm just tired of the constant maintenance it takes to be the outgoing, fun and fancy-free person that most people like to be around. I'm the, if you don't know me yet, you probably won't get the chance to, type of person. Not because I'm a bitch, but because getting to know me takes time. Time that neither I, nor you, probably have nowadays. Don't get me wrong, I can be fun when I want. I just don't always want to be. I keep to myself and hope to hell that you could care less if I do.
Anyways, I've been shopping online for hours. I didn't know Ed Hardy made baby clothes! Discovery of my night! I have been searching for ideas to make my room more baby-friendly. Right now it's just my king-size mattresses on the floor, a lamp & a plastic drawer set I got from Wal-mart. I want a new diaper changing table where I can keep all the baby bathing stuff, diapers & wipes and grooming products. I started looking at an armoire that I can add another clothing rack to since it'll be all baby clothes & I need a rocking chair because I intend to breast feed. I wonder how long you're supposed to breast-feed. My co-workers told me about a lady that breastfed her son until he was near 7. What kind of shit is that? Is it really necessary to keep kids on breast milk that long? They told me how she brought him to work with her one day & he straight climbed on top of her lap while she was talking, pulled her shirt over his head and started drinking while she never broke a sentence. Awkward! To each his own I guess. Do you think the skills & instincts it takes to be a mother just come naturally? Or do they have to be learned & developed? I've seen women that instantly transform from woman to mother like it was always there, just waiting to be needed. And then I've seen women where it seems as though they learned their parenting skills off of a Jerry Springer episode. I guess that kind of answers my question but then I still wonder what that means for me. Because this isn't my first pregnancy do I already have those skills? Or do I still need to have a baby physically here for me to know how to care for one? Maybe I should google it.
Tonight was supposed to be movie night. I don't know why we keep going to Blockbuster when we have netflix but we do. Now, my husband broke his leg a while ago & got laid off so I've been working & trying to keep up with these bills. I make enough to take care of us but for some reason, it seems like when all the bills are paid & you think you have money left to spend, you have new bills that you didn't know needed to be paid! During all my pregnancies I've been on MedicAid so I had NO IDEA pregnancy was this expensive! On top of my picky eating habits, I've got Dr co-pay & prenatals to buy. I've got an insurance deductible twice the cost of my rent & I have to buy clothes that fit every time I break a button! I'm not sure where I was going with this thought, but back to movie night. He sold his PC tower today & when I asked if we could get TruBlood Season 2, he freaks out & tells me that money was for his credit card payment. Seeing as it was my intention to pay for the movie with my debit card, I took that up the butt & wigged out. I spent the last month paying off the loan he took out to send money to his family in CA, I made a $50 pmnt on his last credit card statement, I had to pay the rent, the phone, the utilities and the car insurance with just what I make & it seriously PISSED me off that he was about to flip out over a couple of bucks for a Blockbuster movie. Hmmmmm, was I overreacting? Maybe. But the stress of pregnancy, finances & work kind of put me in the kind of mood to freak out fairly easily. Are men seriously THAT oblivious to the emotional rollercoaster that comes with pregnancy? Anyways, I freak out after he says that and he says that I'M the one with issues. True as that may be, that whole scene was Y0UR fault! Don't men get it? It's THEIR fault! Regardless of what happened. Haha.
Ok, so I've talked about nothing. Sorry blog. But this nonsense makes sense to me! Maybe I'm just crazy. But right now, I'm tired. Until next time!
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